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In the darkness...

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Hey! I'm new! [09 Nov 2009|11:01pm]


Hello, I'm new to LJ!

Here is a brief synopsis of my story: The story centers around a young girl who moves to California and the exciting and portentous adventures she faces when she is kidnapped by five attractive, yet murderous men.

Please read my story and tell me what you think!

I titled the story "To Death" after Akhmatova's famous poem.

Here is the poem. I love it.

To Death

You will come in any case — so why not now?
How long I wait and wait. The bad times fall.
I have put out the light and opened the door
for you, because you are simple and magical.
Assume, then, any form that suits your wish,
take aim, and blast at me with poisoned shot,
or strangle me like an efficient mugger,
or else infect me — typhus be my lot —

It's all the same to me. The Yenisei swirls,
the North Star shines, as it will shine forever;
and the blue lustre of my loved one's eyes
is clouded over by the final horror.

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Anne Rice fans [11 Mar 2009|05:49pm]

Check a new Anne Rice Character forum . . . thesavagegarden.11.forumer.com

Register and have fun posting with the vampires.
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Here are my newest VICTIMS! [10 Oct 2007|08:17pm]

[ mood | content ]


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New Blood [13 Dec 2006|02:12pm]

[ mood | curious ]

Hello. Just introducing myself to you. Enid 28, tried my own community but nothing is happening yet. Thought I would post a few words my friends seem to like for everyone.

Barbwire Soul

like a rush of joy I believed in your song
making me fall by the shadows of hell sprung
a master of words to distort my mind I hide inside
pain stronge enough that roses shatter and eyes bleed
deaths love controls me

wrapped in his hold on me
Im covered in my memories
alone and dead I wait
can you release the wires surounding my fate
my barbwire soul

how the blood flows with every lie you told
darkness fills another strand of wire
waiting for the fire to consume my body
walking the clear floor turning red
I sleep in a tomb with him

twisted in grey covering my eyes
I stare at the one, trying to brake me free
alone and dead I wait for the light
release the wires surounding my fate
my barbwire soul

I feel the sun your sending to me
death pulls at my strings again
can you cut my cage to feel my skin
let me live in your world again.
lost in this wold of black
dont let me fall back

release the real me from my memories
cut the pain forged by death
let me love again in your light
find me, feel me

unwrap me from his hold
reveal to me love unknown
cut me free from my mind
release the wires surounding my fate
my barbwire soul

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For nothing more. [17 Sep 2006|12:00am]

[ mood | Tired ]

Here I sit, dark and dead, madness running through my head,
As I think of what I've always wanted more and more,
Allowing myself to rot, fading until I am naught,
Wishing for what I've sought, as I've always done before.
But nothing comes to me, at all, as it always was before--
--------------------- As my hopes were nevermore.

I grasp at what I desire, but it's always moving ever higher,
And, with dread, I see it going where I cannot hope to soar,
Into my breath, this fear is screaming, far too loud to have meaning,
And I wish that I were dreaming, so I might awaken, just once more.
But I know that this is real, and thus I will be saved no more--
--------------------- My torment seizing a heart so poor.

To be, and not get, is the sorrow I've met,
The lack of my love is what I'm mourning for,
All I feel is pain, I've nothing more to gain
From being lively or sane, as I've felt before.
'Tis my curse of this life as always was before--
--------------------- Between death and life, I'm on the shore.

By my being, weak and sad, why must this life seem so bad?
Why must my love be apart from me, as it always was before?
What reason have you, Divine One, to have me suffer in the sun?
Of my dreams, I've gotten none. Is this all worth living for?
If I cannot have my joy, what can my life be for?
--------------------- As it seems, for nothing more.

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your heart is mine [14 Feb 2006|03:18pm]

my heart is yours

to view bigger image use following links:
deviantart.com722x1000289 Kbview
photographer.ru578x80098 Kbview
photosight.ru578x800113 Kbview
skill.ru578x800113 Kbview
hiero.ru434x600106 Kbview
photoclub.com.ua578x800113 Kbview

used: Olympus E-300, PS CS2
phorographer/model/all graphics manipulation : me (stalkerju)
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The Strength I Seek [11 Feb 2006|12:00pm]

[ mood | Fallen ]

The encroaching darkness overtakes me and now I think I can never be,
I lose my footing and cannot tell if there is a solid floor,
I am simply pathetically weak, and it pains me even when I speak,
And so it is strength that I seek from the people that I adore--
But then one desires to cease and I find myself with her at war,
--------------------- The strength I seek, is no more.

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Flood of Pain [11 Feb 2006|12:00pm]

[ mood | Dark ]

Behold, destiny in its darkest form,
A fate which decrees nothing but pain,
Within this mind, a raging storm,
Bringing thunder to the rain,

The tears that fall produce more tears,
The blood that falls produces more blood,
And when it turns into the worst of fears,
I'll be washed away in the flood.

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new world creation [22 Jan 2006|02:13am]

new world creation

to view bigger image use following links:
deviantart.com666x1000163 Kbview
photographer.ru533x80096 Kbview
skill.ru533x80096 Kbview
hiero.ru400x60085 Kbview
photoclub.com.ua533x80096 Kbview

three demons create new world
used: Olympus E-300, PS CS2
phorographer/model/all graphics manipulation: me (stalkerju)

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... [17 Jan 2006|12:00pm]

[ mood | Cold ]

Dear poor Raven, why do you cry?
Have you endured the truth and the lie?

The pain is trivial, the sorrow relentless,
But it must indeed hurt, I must confess.

They dare to fear you, they dare to hurt,
They dare to mock you, when you are inert.

What can you do? Must you summon more pain?
Do not hurt yourself, such blood is in vain.

Look to the future, they cannot stop you there.
It is there you know, there are those who care.

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Emotion [19 Dec 2005|11:11pm]

[ mood | Dark ]

I'm sad, I'm cold,
I feel worthless and old.
I feel dead inside,
I've lost my pride,
I'm essentially told,
That I'm worse than mold.

I'm scared, I'm afraid,
I've been weakly made.
I'm humanly flawed,
Exiled from the God,
For idiocy I've paid,
Now I walk only in shade.

I'm angry, I'm mad,
After all the pain I've had.
After humanity killed me,
And the darkness had filled me,
All that happens to me is bad,
Humanity's glare will to my pain add.

Then, after anger, we know of despicable hate,
But upon no lover, will I glare with something so great,
For Humans can love, just as I do,
And there is nothing stronger, nothing more true.
Regardless of that, my rages remain,
A bitterness inside, which causes me pain,
It doesn't matter, I know of my fate,
Nothing is worse than what happened as of late.
My hopes for humanity: Gone, down the drain.
Myself among them, though inhumanity I retain.

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[01 Dec 2005|12:56pm]

[ mood | bored ]

hey im new. im sarah and im 15 from new zealand. so yeah heres some poetry i wrote

some words are never spoken
a silence to dense to ever be broken
chained down, unable to fly
i need to live, or i will die
emotional wreckage, ready made
these piercing feelings wont seem to fade
trust too much, or trust too little
leave my heart broken, bitter or brittle
my biggest regret is regretting everything
and all the pain regretting still brings
tear my scars back open again
leave me to bleed, and drve me insane
let me know i am alive still
help the empty sections inside fill
i can't stand the void anymore
i don't wanna live being so unsure
i cant live with this unease
someone help me find myself please
i just want to be real
and i just want to know i can someday heal

The rainbows I see,
are now black and white,
I can't see any colour,
and there's no wrong or right,
Everything just is,
or isn't so pure,
There isn't a way,
for me to live anymore,
I can't find where i'm going,
forgot where i've been,
Only shadows left of yesterday,
Can't remember all i've seen,
Plauged by thoughts of darkness,
These broken dreams breaking me,
Colourblind, my black and white rainbow,
Is all i am able to see.

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[30 Nov 2005|03:51pm]

[ mood | depressed ]

~*Resurrection Of Winter*~
Beautifully, i lay here alone among the shattered pieces of you
upon white feilds where we were left,as one
now were apart in two seperate worlds
along an endless sleep to forever come
memories slowly binds me to a life i once knew
the coldness of your heart embodies me,so numb
now i am no one in this place
where everything is dead and my soul remains unbroken
your veins strungs its sweet blood upon me
my hollow eyes staring up at you, it could'nt be
how your still here, i try to touch you as you fade
into the sorrow you've made
as i watch you, a blurry figure pick up a porcelain flower
withering,burns a sweet dissemble beauty,so delicate
you slowly felt along the soft velvet petals
feeling the wounds you inflicted upon me
taking in the loveliness it holds
a part of me means nothing now
i know you don't miss me or ever loved me
ripping apart ny petals,one by one
watching them fall to the ground,deeper into your core
bleak shadows lingers in the darkness
sacrificed among the death of winter
recarnated into someone you once knew but never want
desired to be held in your arms again
though i've been alone for so long, you never told me you cared
the wintry breeze holds me close,with gentle cold arms
as i wait for you to be here when dawn comes

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[29 Nov 2005|03:32pm]

[ mood | content ]

sweet melodies flows like honey
each note beats within her tatteredandbruised heart
as lullabies sing lovely tunes of those decieved by imperfection
floats freely on dusty wings into the fallen heavens
crimson blood delicately embodies her pale body
the seams slowly fell apart
she feels a soft presence laced through her fingers
tingles her cold raw skin
disembodies of each tear penetrated from his bloody kiss goodbye
taste like redemption lined with poison
swirls of smoke seared through a burnt beauty
withered and decayed among the ashes of burned flowers
layed a crown of them upon her head
the goddess of death
corrupted by her rotting corspe
bones shattered along the dust faded into the night
vine among wires twist together
bound her empty void of deception
clipped her angel wings,beautifully she lays
black tears stained by crimson lies
sewed and stiched her heart back together of attrition
a sickness that lusts inside her
an addictionof demise pleasure for the pain
sweet candence holds softly together,clasped in someone's arms
holding her,to once forgive the unforgiven
as pages torn and frayed erases her past,each memory
like she never even existed
nobody ever cares for a girl wearing red
her cuts fade into tinted scars,reaped in lifeless eyes
so real,so beautiful

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[28 Nov 2005|07:04pm]

[ mood | indescribable ]

she cried alone full of demon shadows that sorrounds her
her tears streaked down her scarlet face,no meaning
as she watched the dawn awaken
and she felt dead to the world
too numb to ever feel again
too weak to hold herself up anymore
she slowly whispered to herself
no guy would ever want me now
the clock dreary moved as each minute she dies more inside
swallowed up by her cold dark core
she was always the girl to get hurt
betrayed by those she cared about
struggling to breathe,her everyday war
she looked at the blades,gleams in her eyes
her scars from the past burns,she remebers she is still here
she asked herself,why can't i ever be loved
her fears tangled up around her presence,she felt frozen to the world
she can't take this pain any longer
as she bleeds out all she was ever made into
her blood,so lovely
every person that enters in her life,tears up her raw
and cold heart until there is nothing left to hold on to
she soflty whispered
who do you love more, me or her?
and already knew you want her more than im ever worth
she puts on a mask,painted a weary smile
she wants to shine
she wants to be loved by the world
only to be happy for once
she closes her eyes,a last painful tear falls
upon the pool of her sorrow
she loves the feeling of her blood flowing out
its the onlt thing that makes her alive
but all she will ever be
is just a lonely girl,worthless

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[22 Nov 2005|08:55am]

[ mood | depressed ]

hi everyone, i wrote this poem after my bf broke up with me......i hope u like it cuz it rlly means a lot 2 me.

~*Glass Rose*~
shadows stir among the cold nights alone
words bleed together of what was never said but felt
i gave you all of me and you left me with nothing
you never even realized how much i loved you
tainted memories still lingers like a haunting dream
i'll always be there, to never wake up
from the tears of yesturday
the pain delves deep within me, it even hurts
to look in your face,into those teary eyes
you don't want to leave me, but i know you have to
when you left me i thought i could'nt breathe any longer
though im dead inside
you don't even notice that somehow im still here
my presence awaits for you to take ahold of me
and stay forever in your arms, as one
but i know it may never be
my veins split open,poured out all
twist the pain together
strangles me to fight
i lay here as i bleed,to let you know im real
dreary ghosts awakens and whisper to me to just go home
im not wanted here anymore
a crimson rose, so delicate may wither and die by the sorrow
but a glass rose shatters empty promises
and left forever broken
to apreciate the loveliness within its soul,my soul
to never be mended again
and someday you will feel something missing upon yourself
that when i have died here,that someday somehow
i would know maybe you still love me

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[21 Nov 2005|04:35pm]

~*Broken Dolls~*
porcelain face,cloudy blue eyes
scarlet red lips,glass heart
lifeless smile
your broken doll
perfect hair,perfect body
perfect lies,perfect everything
you dress me up, comb my hair
model me the way you want me to be
tied up in laces,caked with perfume
erases the hidden flaws
when you get bored with me
you put me back on the shelf to play with me later
as i slowly decay and frost with dust
do you love me now?
i gazed in the mirror
and see lies surfacing a pain
thats all it is, is lies
i don't see the real me
just someone that you want me to be
someone i'll never become
my hollow eyes stared at the nothingness
as i pull off this mask
revealing the truth, what the mirror can't see
but you don't like me this way, im hideous
im not real to you anymore
what if i was a paper doll
i would be colorless to beauty
you can tear me up then throw me away like im nothing
controlled by your tainted soul
drunken by your blood from your cold veins
and consumed by the loneliness
am i happy now
the mirror shatters into forgotten ashes
i fall to the ground and looked up at your eyes of hatred
you betrayed me and left me with a broken heart
a few last tears rain down upon my unperfect face
of honey encrusted sweetness,crescents my cloth skin
im weak againest you, disfigured by the pain
as i slowly whispered to you
why can't you just love me the way i am
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Diminishing [17 Nov 2005|10:00pm]

[ mood | In the Past ]

The Diminishing OneCollapse )

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Tap tap tap... [16 Nov 2005|12:00am]

[ mood | Dark ]

It's cold out here, I desire that you let me in to feel the fire,
From the darkness of the night, I seek shelter at your chamber door,
Hark, listen to my tapping, heed my gentle gentle rapping,
Lest you find a violent snapping, clearly outside your chamber door,
The snapping of a decent mind, here outside your chamber door--
--------------------- To be sane, nevermore.

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[15 Nov 2005|04:31pm]

A beautifull broken angel awakens in the darkness
feilds of sorrow lay upon her carved out heart
her porcelain face of hollow eyes of a hidden pain
a slow,sad smile
she is still beautiful
she looks in the mirror
and wonders if its still her
if she is ever real
the one he ever loved
a burning anguish, she smashes the lies
into so many pieces
pieces of her
left alone along everyone's shadows
shards of glass cuts her into crimson dreams
reveal a shattered image
she stands gracefully like a decyaed flower
frayed and dying
her black tears fall like droplets of redemption
desires to feel love,once again
forsaken her past behind each memory
sewed inside her tarnished heart
left her breathless,untouched
she cannot feel the last whispers of the breeze
silence consumes every part of her
she closes her eyes
and her wings breaks free from the chains
beautifully, a fallen angel

i hope u like it, i wrote it 2day but been workin on it for like 2 days lol. problem is i can't come up with a good title, any suggestions??
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